Morning all,
I was going through Heathrow security last week on a visit to Danish health services and was asked to take off my watch to go through the security scanner. ‘Don’t forget you watch, don’t forget you watch, don’t forget your watch’ was my internal dialogue. I didn’t forget my watch but I did leave my laptop behind! I was finally reunited with it on Friday afternoon, but felt that was too late for a thought for the week by then.
Thought for the week: Sometimes “stuff” comes out sideways
My trip to Denmark was the first time I had been away from my family in a couple of months- I have needed to be at home with my kids more recently, as they needed both their parents around them. We had noticed a couple of months ago, increased arguments and squabbling between both of them and also my son’s teacher reported that James was being a bit mean to his classmates and was everything okay.
It transpired that an au pair that was living with us assaulted my daughter and locked my son out of our house in a rage- this only came to light when the said au pair left and my daughter disclosed to my husband what had happened. She had been threatened by the au pair that things would be worse next time round if she spoke up to us or a teacher. Naturally we were devastated by this- working in the field of mental health I have always been acutely aware of the importance of speaking up and have encouraged my kids to “tell an adult” when things aren’t okay. So for this to happen was a total shock and I have to admit a large amount of guilt if we could have prevented it.
But it shows the power of psychological abuse and the vulnerability of children, and also that stuff can come out sideways especially in children. We have been incredibly supported by the school, police and the local mental trust advised me on things to look out for after the first few months which could indicate some PTSD. My line manager and colleagues who know have been amazing too- thank you. The strongest message was that my children believed and saw through action that we were taking this seriously.
Sometimes when situations are too difficult to articulate or there is a threat about standing up to abuse, stuff can come out sideways- this is common in children but in adults too. So I guess the message this week is if there is someone you have noticed that is behaving differently, could there be something going on for them? This week is mental health awareness week and there is lots of hints and tips on how to help a loved one or a friend.
I hope you forgive me for indulging a little this week in my own stuff- Thought for the week isn’t about me, but I do write it and this story felt part of the journey, and of me, so thank you.
I am pleased to say that 6 weeks on, Rebecca and James are recovering really well- they are still squabbling of course!
Song for the week is Billy Idol, Dancing with myself, simply because I love it and dance around to it in my room in the morning! Hope you enjoy it too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU
Reflections for the week 